Sometimes I feel like I talk too much about gender and sexuality but then I have moments like right now when I realize that I NEED to talk about gender and sexuality or else I would explode, its not that home isn’t safe its just that when I’m here I have to pretend, I pretend I’m straight I pretend I believe in God and worst of all I pretend I’m slightly homophobic…….I hate myself for that. And then I go to school and its like I can BREATHE and I get a well deserved break and I need to talk about all the genders and sexualities and I can! Cause there are amazing people that support me that never tell me to shut up or that homosexuals are going to hell if they don’t stop and repent and it’s such a RELIEF to be able to do that! I love my mom and dad and I know that they love me and wish me only the best and that’s what makes it so hard! Cause even though I pretend now and make them happy while im miserable, one day I won’t be able to anymore and then we’ll both be miserable, they will cause I’m mostly gay and I will cause I don’t know if they’ll ever speak to me again. My eyes are getting puffy but I’m on a roll so I’m not stopping. This was just supposed to be a simple text post about how hard pretending is and what a great break school is but now I’m sad and there’s no one awake I can talk to. Anyways I worry constantly about coming out or worse being outed and now that more people know the risk is greater and I regret telling as many people as I did. I still do the sweep, its a small town there’s people who talk regularly to my family that I have to pick out as soon as I walk in a room. It sucks cause there’s one girl that I look up to and I don’t think she knows and I’m scared to say anything to give myself away cause I’m not sure she would be okay with it and not to mention it sucks. Being this is hard I’d like for it to just be another unremarkable thing about me like in “Will Grayson, Will Grayson” where the character is apathetic towards it but its such a big deal to me and I think its cause at home, where I spend the majority if my time, it is a big deal. Funny how when I’m away home seems so warm and inviting but when I’m here its so taxing. I should’ve written this in my notebook or something I didn’t expect it to be this long. I feel like my followers think I’m just looking for attention when I post stuff like this but whatever I just needed to talk to the internet and let it bury this post deep in tumblr where very few people will see it and none will acknowledge it :D

My relationship with my followers
Me: ask me anything guys, nothing is off the limits.
Followers:
Me:
Followers:
Me: okay, I'll just reblog some pictures.

lord-kitschener:

youstareiglare:

The only thing I cant stand more than homophobes and transphobes is gay and trans*(these kinds hate the asterisk though) people who conform and assimilate into the systems which oppressed them in the first place.

#why hate the people beating innocent people to death#when you can hate the people being beaten to death for trying to find ways to survive?

can u pretend im not ugly and annoying and fall in love with me

heliolisk:

american dream

heliolisk:

american dream

b0mbb:

c-hange:

super-who-lockian:

rawrxja:

"I saw this elderly gentleman dining by himself, with an old picture of a lady in front of him. I though maybe I could brighten his day by talking to him. As I had assumed, she was his wife. But I didn’t expect such an interesting story. They met when they were both 17. They dated briefly, then lost contact when he went to war and her family moved. But he said he thought about her the entire war. After his return, he decided to look for her. He searched for her for 10 years and never dated anyone. People told him he was crazy, to which he replied “I am. Crazy in love”. On a trip to California, he went to a barber shop. He told the barber how he had been searching for a girl for ten years. The barber went to his phone and called his daughter in. It was her! She had also been searching for him and never dated either. He proposed immediately and they were married for 55 years before her death 5 years ago. He still celebrates her birthday and their anniversary. He takes her picture with him everywhere and kisses her goodnight. Some inspiring things he said;"I was a very rich man. Not with money, but with love""I never had a single argument with my wife, but we had lots of debates""People are like candles. At any moment a breeze can blow it out, so enjoy the light while you have it.""Tell your wife that you love her everyday. And be sure to ask her, have I told you that I love you lately?"Be sure to talk to the elderly. Especially strangers. You may think that you will brighten their day, but you may be surprised that they can actually brighten yours.”

This is beautiful.

I cried.

this is wonderful and amazing and one of the reasons i volunteer with old people

b0mbb:

c-hange:

super-who-lockian:

rawrxja:

"I saw this elderly gentleman dining by himself, with an old picture of a lady in front of him. I though maybe I could brighten his day by talking to him. 

As I had assumed, she was his wife. But I didn’t expect such an interesting story. They met when they were both 17. They dated briefly, then lost contact when he went to war and her family moved. But he said he thought about her the entire war. After his return, he decided to look for her. He searched for her for 10 years and never dated anyone. People told him he was crazy, to which he replied “I am. Crazy in love”. On a trip to California, he went to a barber shop. He told the barber how he had been searching for a girl for ten years. The barber went to his phone and called his daughter in. It was her! She had also been searching for him and never dated either. 

He proposed immediately and they were married for 55 years before her death 5 years ago. He still celebrates her birthday and their anniversary. He takes her picture with him everywhere and kisses her goodnight. 

Some inspiring things he said;

"I was a very rich man. Not with money, but with love"

"I never had a single argument with my wife, but we had lots of debates"

"People are like candles. At any moment a breeze can blow it out, so enjoy the light while you have it."

"Tell your wife that you love her everyday. And be sure to ask her, have I told you that I love you lately?"

Be sure to talk to the elderly. Especially strangers. You may think that you will brighten their day, but you may be surprised that they can actually brighten yours.”

This is beautiful.

I cried.

this is wonderful and amazing and one of the reasons i volunteer with old people

mrsdk1998:

half of them are rin bc he’s related to anything ever somehow

Caps | Part I

joydick:

"you dont look gay though"
SHIT did I forget my rainbow at home AGAIN

rapldashing:

I don’t care that I am a full grown human my parents should still carry me in from the car when I pretend to be asleep

itsmemacleod:

unfollower:

you cant even stereotype the southern US because everything you come up with is probably true

i feel this because i live in the southern us